Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Night a Strange Man followed Me Home... and I lived to tell the tale!

Last night, against all my desires, I met Jalal. Ha!

Hani, Suzanne and I went to dinner last night at Cafe Perugia. Nom. I had the soup, Lo Zuppo di legumi... translated into English as "Organic Pulses Soup." Clearly I had to order it. It was AMAZING. It was thick lentil soup with a meat base broth and olive oil drizzled on top. Yes, please. Can't wait to go back. We had some fantastic wine and food. Hani has been battling a terrible cold so Suzanne ordered him to get a shot of whiskey- PRONTO. So we hopped over to the bar and got a drink at this bar right next to "the Steps" and our apartment. The Steps are the steps of Chiesa di San Lorenzo, the cathedral of Perugia. Every night, young people from all over the world go there to mingle, chat, smoke and drink. In Perugia, you can have an open container if it isn't in a glass bottle. They have a littering problem. Anywho, we got a drink and I gave Hani the rest of my delicious and cold Newcastle so I could go home and pass out. I live maybe 2 minutes from the steps and live off a main street. I knew it was a safe place to go for sure and I wasn't tipsy or anything.

On my walk to my apartment, I spend 90 percent of it on a main road where a bunch of Umbra Insitute students live and a few of them hang out in the street too. So I knew it was fine. It wasn't even 11 PM for heaven sakes. But I notice this lone guy walking far behind me. I slowed down and pretended I was doing something so he could keep walking past me.

Nope. My tactic failed. I hear his steps quicken and all of a sudden I hear "Ciao. Italianoitalinoitalno, parli italani, scusi, italianoitaliano blah blah blah." He has caught up with me so he can talk my ears off. I was silent for 15 seconds CLEARLY ignoring him and he kept talking. No discouraging this guy...

So because I was 20 steps away from my apartment, I couldn't go home because he would know where I lived. Well here's what I learned from the very little I could understand of his RAPID Italian.

His name is Jalal. He even showed me his id because I couldn't understand his name. I figured I was safe if he was taking out his wallet in front of me haha. I found out (maybe?) many things about him.

1. He lives with his sister and her two children.
2. He might be Moroccan.
3. He wanted my number and to take me for a coffee EVEN THOUGH I COULDN'T COMMUNICATE WITH HIM. Am I weird for thinking this is a problem? This happens a lot actually. Italian guys will take out American girls even if the girls can barely speak Italian.
4. He thought I was very beautiful and told me that meeting me made him happy.
5. He doesn't like the Steps. I feel like this is because he might be running from the law. HA. Safety first.
6. He is legally registered in Italy as a citizen so if he assaulted me I could easy find him with the police. The police worry the most about illegal immigrants because they can commit a crime and completely disappear. 

Fortunately, I told him my phone didn't work, I wasn't going home but going to the steps and I said "I don't understand" multiple times. You'd think all of those things would be a turn off/ make him realize we were not meant to be...

Nope. Something tells me that I will see Jalal again real soon... Yay Perugia for being my new TAC sized life... 

Monday, September 10, 2012

WHY DO PEOPLE GO TO NAPOLI?

I've found Heaven and Hell. They are called Capri and Naples.

WHY DO PEOPLE GO TO NAPLES?

Probably for the pizza. I went to Brandi's, the original restaurant that made the Magherita pizza... OMG. Delicious. Otherwise, Napoli is an abomination before the Lord. It's dirty, depressing and full of gypsies. People put graffiti allover the beautiful Baroque architecture. It's just so depressing that it's such a dump with all its history.

So Friday, I went to Pompeii. So hottttt. Faceva brutto! Troppo caldo per camminare! We got a 2 hour walking tour in the sun. It went long... needless to say we were angry children. But I have some great photos to upload soon :)

Friday night, we stayed in Sorrento. We were staying in a "four star hotel" with paper thin walls, no internet except in the lobby for 5 euros an hour, and we were 4 girls to a room. What's a three star like? Fortunately, I had some really great roommates I was meeting for the first time.

So first night in Sorrento, I was pretty upset. We woke up at 6 am, were on the bus for 5-6 hours, stood in the sun in Pompeii for over 2 hours, then back on the bus to Sorrento... On the bus I had these images of my queen sized bed in Sorrento where I would take a hot shower and use my computer for hours by myself.

Nope. So I left the hotel and walked around. I found a beautiful church and it was God tapping me on the shoulder. "Remember me, you pathetic loser?" and I said "Wow, you still want to talk to me? Score."  These old ladies were staying the Rosary in Italian. I went and lit some candles in front of all their statues: St. Therese, St. Francisco, St. Joseph e Padre Pio. Recharged, I went to the hotel where I asked slowly in Italian "I would like to use the Italian for an hour, please." And another guest at the hotel turned to me and said "You speak Italian so beautifully!"

Mom, Dad, friends, people who read this because they are bored/curious: I almost embraced this strange man because I've never needed encouragement so much in my life. But, fortunately, I don't speak Italian well yet. hahahha.

And I got to use the Internet. HUZZZZAHHH.

Basically, every time I think I'm going to start screaming in English/Italiano, something great happens. God's so looking out for me, it's ridiculous. 


Next post: "Biondi, Biondi, Prendi un foto? Capisci?"

Cooking without Salt... and Various mishaps.

Ah. Culture shock has arrived. It first stood on the front steps like an eager Jehovah Witness asking me for a bit of my time. I politely and firmly said "No, thanks. I'm doing dandy." It knowingly said "I'll be back" and I double locked the door.

Now culture shock has developed into a camp of wild gypsies in my bedroom. It even used my toothbrush. You know, you give culture shock a cold shoulder and next thing you know you are an angry, irrational monster on the brink of tears because it's 5 pm and you had a yogurt and saltines for the day's meals. Why have you not eaten anything? Because you can't bear the thought of having to talk another person in Italian or you had only 40 minutes break from school. Thursday I had class from 8 am to 5 pm... with a hour long lunch break which was mostly taken up by transit time. Grocery shopping = stressful. They never give you enough plastic bags (because of course you have to ask and of course you can't remember the correct word in Italian). I asked the butcher in Italian "Where's the salty?" and he says to me with a smile "The salt?" HAHA. So embarrassing. But I found it and I went back to him and told him "Thank you, I found it!" Fortunately, Italians in Perugia are SO NICE when you speak even terrible Italian to them.

Because I am stupid and shy AND go up and down probably 20-30 flights of stairs a day and walk a 4 miles everyday, I have probably lost 5-10 pounds my first week here. I don't have a scale but I can see a dramatic difference in my body. Of course, I brought clothes that were mostly loose because most people say they gain 10 pounds when they study in Italy... Nope, my pants can't stay up... I'm hoping once I get my cafeteria card tomorrow, I'll stop losing weight and not be starving all day long. It's amazing how long you can be furiously hungry without actually dying.

My new apartment is great! But lacks two essentials: salt and internet.My sad, sad meal that I cooked the first night desperately needed salt. Thank God for salty cheese! My spirit is dying without internet. Of course, the housing lady told me she would install it on Thursday morning... It's Monday, lady and I'm losing my freakin marbles. My phone doesn't have data (didn't realize until after I paid for it...) so basically I'm a terrible correspondent and company like 95% of the time.

I'VE REALLY missed blogging. It's my new therapy since I can't eat my feelings anymore... 

"Finn, I need applause to live!"

I thought I needed food to live. Nope, I really just need the internet. AND coffee. Let's be real.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Il Secondo/Il Deux/Part 2 of Crap Days

Soooo.... my surprise roommate made a big splash. My school is moving us to a new apartment. One of my Umbra roommates already moved tonight. Suzanne and I are moving to a cute little apartment in a great location tomorrow. It's a Ritz compared to where we live now and we even get our own rooms! Too bad moving sucks so much...

The conversation that got us this new apartment: hilarious. So Suzanne and I are complaining... and the residence lady is like Yeah, I know, he's so much older, it's so inappropriate. And I was like um yeah... and because he's a DUDE... She's like you should always expect a male roommate...

Ok. So basically what happened is Francesco bent the rules. He is only supposed to rent to students of the Stranieri, where I go. However, it's implied that these students must be young. The residence lady was mad we lived with an old man instead of a young man. I surrreeennddderrrr to this day and chaos. What the hell? I don't want to live with a twenty year old man either. They pee allover the bathroom and never clean up. Yes, don't deny it. I've been to your house.

The residence lady is soooo pissed at Francesco that she's moving all of us out of our apartment. Poor Jorge must feel like an ass. He's actually doing us a favor, this is a dump. I feel really bad because I chatted with him and he's a very nice fellow. I even feel like I betrayed him, despite the briefness of our friendship.

Last night in Casa Mariotti. Goodbye, pee smelling bathroom and molding shower curtain.

In other news, I started class today. My class is about 15-20 people from allover: German, Polish, Scottish, American, English, Chinese, Israeli, and someone from Dubai too. No mustache man of my dreams but hey, it's only the first day ;)

All the material is easy but it's difficult expressing yourself in Italian when you are nervous. Classes are endless... but I think it's going to be AMAZING for my language skills. Being in love with one of my language teachers doesn't help either. He yelled at me for saying "Um" because I read something... and then I said "Um" again... This experience is almost too humbling hahaha. Man oh man...

My phone won't work. The residence lady said What does your contract say? And I said What contract?

I'm that dumbass without a contract. Failure #388748438483 since I landed.

Also meals missed/skipped: undocumented because of sheer hunger and inability to perform math while borderline on one's deathbed. And fear of speaking to a butcher or ordering food in bad Italian.

Staircases climbed today: 20-30

Shin Splints: How do you count them? I'm guessing 4 from the pain level.

Espressos: 2. I'm currently bouncing off the walls because I had one at dinner. WAAAHHOOOOO.

Time to snooze.

Part 1: The Longest/Supah Dupah Crappiest Half Week of My Life

Yesterday in the evening, someone asked me what time I took my placement test. I couldn't remember. I am even scratching my head now trying to remember. Here is the unbelievable blur that the last 48 hours has been...


Monday... the day that never ended. I woke up at 3:30 am and waited on Facebook in my sad dark little kitchen for someone to get on Facebook. It wasn't my day... Louise came on and I almost cried with joy. She told me she met someone I should marry... but he lived in Phoenix. Why does that always happen? I am in freakin Italy and my potential true love lives probably 30 minutes from my old house? Classico. I told Louise he'd probably be engaged by the time I got home. The good ones/the ones you unrealistically plan to wed don't stay single for long! We've all been there. Don't lie to yourself and try to make fun of me behind my back.

Then I tried to fall back asleep, despite the bad news Louise told me (hahaha), and all of a sudden, my shut window BANGS OPEN from the wind and wakes up my roommate. So I had some company! Misery (me) loves company. Then I took a freezing cold shower (screw you, formerly beloved Francesco. No, you don't just have to wait 30 seconds. You may only have to wait 30 seconds for me to attack you, however. I wonder if I'm kidding...I'll get to that later.) Oh, did I mention that the fridge didn't work? So all my fresh food was ruined? Yeah... I had pistachios I bought at the store. Never, never buy pistachios at an Italian store. So once I managed to not vomit, we went to Università per Stranieri (University for Foreigners for those of you who don't want to use Google Translate) for our placement tests.

Fortunately, I was bright and bushy tailed for our test since I woke up at 3:30 am. Oh, I kid. After a really difficult written test, I did the oral. Crash and burn. I should be in B2 because of my classes at ASU and Berlitz but my listening comprehension is too poor to be in it, hence I am in B1. Alllllorrraa, I have an opportunity to move up a level in a month if I study a lot and prepare for the test.

That afternoon we walked for hours. I can barely remember what happened between the test and our tour of the university. I guess we didn't eat lunch? Non mi ricordo. Considering I'm in fatass heaven, I am surprised by how little I've eaten. Just been to busy or tired to make a trip/awkwardly order in a restaurant. The tour was over an hour and a half and everyone was dead by the end. Then we had ANOTHER meeting at 5:30 at Umbra to discuss our program. It was informative but everyone was falling asleep.

ALSO, my "Chinese" roommate, as my landlord likes to call him, moved out of my apartment. It was the only time I saw him. I would be lying if I said I was sad to see him go. So then Francesco informs me that we will have another dude replace him in two weeks (me: ARGH. NO MORE MEN PLEASE).

So after the tour de Hell and the meeting of forever-like length, I sat at home completely relaxed. No more men. Sitting my pajamas. Drinking a beer.

My front door opens... it's a strange man in his 40s who I've never seen before. Oh, it's only my new roommate Jorge. Didn't Francesco the landlord tell me? Nope. Well hello there... So I go put more clothes on and let my roommate who was in the shower know that there was a strange older man in our apartment so she wouldn't come out in a towel.

Oh gosh. This is so awkward.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

Cold Shower Morning

My landlord Francesco: "Turn on the hot water for the shower and give it a minute to get there."  It never came. I washed my hair in a quite chilly shower this morning. Somehow I couldn't figure out which knob was the warm one (both freezing) so I let one run for a minute... still cold. So then I thought guess it's the other one. Nope. Too late. I'll be late for Mass if I fiddle with this any longer. I comforted myself with the fact that cold water is supposed to make your hair look shiner.

So after a freezing shower, I booked it to the Basilica di San Lorenzo in Perugia. I showed up about 2 minutes before it started. Huzaaah. Fortunately all those years of Latin Mass/not being dumb paid off because I could follow everything pretty well except the Eucharistic prayers because I couldn't figure out which ones they were doing. The church is stunning. I will try to put up some pictures soon. I'm thinking of joining the choir once I speak Italian fluently.

So I used one of these correctly TWICE. Definitely made up for the freezing shower. And I didn't kill myself or others using the gas stove.


Even using crappy cheap coffee was made to taste great. Ti amo, Italia! 

For lunch I had random amazing cheese I found at the store, prosciutto cotto, cooked red pepper in olive oil and salad with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Oh, so grown up, aren't we? 

Saturday, September 1, 2012

First afternoon in Perugia... my calves are getting a mighty workout.

Last night after my lonnnnggg flight, I got on a bus for three hours with my program mates. I sat next to this girl Effie whose family also came from Northern Italy so we hit it off. Very grateful for that because the bus ride was 3 hours long. Needless to say, we complain about how tired we were for most of it haha.

We arrived at Hotel Gio in Perugia, just outside the city where everyone crashed for the night before moving into our apartments in town. Checked in felt like hours.... buttttt then I went up to my room and met my new roommate Suzanne. She is great! I'm very lucky to have her. She fell asleep while we were talking with the lights on, she was so tired. That night, the program served us dinner... we were all zombies trying to be social haha. After dinner, some people went out to explore Perugia. Suzanne and I went to bed. Zzzzz...

Today we were driven to our new apartment! From the program, Megan and Suzanne are both from the US and living with me.  We are further then most people in Umbra from our school but hey, with the Italian delicacies, this just means we will gain less weight... hopefully... Our poor taxi driver got lost twice and barely squeezed into the alley to take us to our piazza. There we met our landlord Francesco who was so friendly and chill. He immediately made us all comfortable, he even carried our heavy suitcases up 3 flights of stairs. What a champ. He even teased me and started calling me Jolanda.  That may just be my new nickname...

Our apartment is great. We are sharing it with two/three other people. All our bedrooms have locks with keys. We have two bathrooms with two showers! Heavenly. We have a washing machine, a stove, a dishwasher, a microwave... AND WI-FI. Unfortunately it doesn't work well in the bedrooms. But hey dining room table isn't so bad. My roommates are also considering getting their own internet keys so that they can Skype in private.  Our apartment seems super random but I somehow love it already.

Ah... right now I'm so tired. I still haven't found a phone card or anything. I also don't care either. I'm oddly feeling at home. Of course, I have already had some awkward exchanges. Effie and I went to get gelato yesterday and I accidentally ordered a huge cup like a big fatass. But hey, I didn't eat breakfast or lunch that day. So I like to think that my subconscious knew I needed the calories to live. I don't know how I'm managing on eating so little without dying. Probably the jet lag. So tired all the time!

I went to the grocery store. Teeny tinny. BUT I fortunately read my school's guide book and I managed to figure out how to buy produce correctly. You don't touch it with your hands ever. They have free plastic gloves that you use to put it in a bag and then you weigh it, enter on the computer screen what produce you are weighing and the machine prints a sticker that you slap on your bag. È facile.

I managed to sign up for the trip next weekend that my program is organizing. Sorrento, Naples and Pompeii. AAAAH :D

Time to go! I have to meet up with my group for my tour of Perugia. So tired. Wish me luck :)